He confessed things that I should be alarmed of, but I am not worried about the story itself. I am alarmed of why he told me those things. It’s not the kind of stuff that you can tell anyone, but you wouldn’t. And I know I am not the best companion he has. I have contradicting thoughts inside my head like I think he told me those things ‘cause he trusts me more than his friends but I guess I’m just the one available.
Even emotions among friends might get messy.
Ugh. I don’t know.
I have been daydreaming a lot lately, thinking about things that I hope will come my way soon. I think it’s unhealthy but it helps me to avoid being lonely and worried about certain things.
We had our Formal Dinner last Friday together with other dormers. I had a lot of fun dancing all night tho my feet ached too much. It felt nice seeing everyone having a great time. The food was also good, I kind of regretted that I can’t eat a lot.
Yesterday was a very awesome day too. We went swimming with our relatives to celebrate my cousin’s birthday. It’s my first time to swim alone, since everybody was busy enjoying the event. I really appreciated swimming yesterday, and I think it had the same effect to me like running. It kept my mind relaxed and my body trusting my head. So I can say I really liked it, but it didn’t change my mind on not taking swimming as a PE class.
On other news, well, I guess it’s not really new. I am still confused about my emotions about this matter I already consulted you before. I still don’t know what to do but I just want to get rid of it. It’s very… uncomfortable, feeling this way. I don’t like it. But I admit, I do like it sometimes. But I try not to like it. See? It’s very confusing.
I hope you still help me regarding this silly matter. I know it’s kind of impossible but I am still hoping that you’ll give me answers. I still don’t know what to do.
I hope you’re doing great. Hope to hear from you as soon as possible.
Adventure Time Tag from a shirt given by one of my pain in the ass college friends. It’s Jake and it’s a cutie, fits me tho I’m not into “just-right-fit shirts”.
UP Fair 2014 tickets. I think I already blogged about that. (x)
Bride For Rent Cinema Ticket. That day was spontaneous. I’m with my other college friend and we didn’t plan to watch cinema that day but yeah, we did. And we didn’t regret it.
Adora’s Give-away Tag. It has been a wonderful night. Also served as a mini reunion for our batch. Had an overnight in the debutante’s place after the party. But I wasn’t able to sleep, of course.
Bus Ticket. My travel after a not-so-long weekend (for me).
I am so fcking pissed right now.
Bakit ba sa lahat ng tao, ikaw pa? Bakit ang hilig mong mangialam sa mga bagay na wala ka namang alam? Bakit hindi ka marunong i-consider ang nararamdaman ng iba? Bakit ang hina mong umintindi?
Putangina naman. I wish I never trusted you. Hindi ko ineexpect na aabot sa ganito. I’m tired of all your bullshits in life pero please lang, ‘wag mo na akong idamay sa mga kagaguhan mo, okay? Wala kang alam. Bitch, there’s more than what meets the eye. Pwede ka namang magtanong kung totoo man ‘yung ikakalat mong balita eh. Pero damn, bakit pinangungunahan mo pa ako sa mga bagay na ako dapat ang may alam?
Ganun na ba kakitid ‘yang utak mo?
Kung tingin mo sobrang kilala mo na ako noon mula talampakan hanggang bawat hibla ng buhok ko, nagbago na lahat ‘yun ngayon. Ayaw kong sabihin ‘to pero sana maglaho na lang bigla lahat ng putanginang pinagsamahan natin dahil sinara mo na lahat. Hindi mo ba masara ‘yang bibig mo? Wala kang karapatang mag-judge dahil wala ka sa lugar. At hindi ka na mapupunta sa lugar na ‘yun, ever.
Sa sobrang galit at inis ko, pakiramdam ko ay hindi kita babatiin sa birthday mo. Wala na akong pakialam dahil ayaw ko nang magalit pa sa’yo. Maramdaman ko lang ‘yung presensya mo, gusto ko na lumayo. Sobrang nakaka-bad vibes lahat sa’yo. Nung una akala ko ako ‘yung may problema. Pero damn, may sapat pala, o sobra pa ngang rason para kamuhian kita to death.
Sorry. Pero ako ba talaga ang dapat humingi ng tawad?
Sana hindi tayo umabot sa point na masusuntok na lang kita bigla.
Sobra na talaga eh.
I ignore you because there’s a signboard stuck on your forehead saying I should ignore all your bullshits and pathetic issues.
Normal are those who love and want to be loved back equally or more than what they could give.
Not normal are those who solely believe that unconditional love exists, or don’t love at all.
It’s a predictable world, no, the people around are predictable. They involve to the unfair competition of searching for a mate, probably for security, happiness, sake of not being alone or whatnot. It’s okay. I don’t judge them. Maybe it’s just not my thing. As of the moment.
I want a thrill. The odd kind of thrill.
A week ago. UDD @ Roots 2014. Most awesome set that night. #UPFAIR
I mean not the bad hell, but the awesome hell.
I experienced the most thrilling moments of my life in just a week. I attended two nights of UP Fair and the good news is, I was able to finish both but the bad news: I haven’t slept for two frigging days. Out of nowhere, my friends and I decided to stay out up to 8 in the morning so we just killed our time at the Sunken Garden, lying down, but to our surprise, we fell asleep and laughed our asses off when we woke up, not knowing what to do. It’s one of the craziest moments for us and it felt like we got five years younger.
And today, we had our field trip in Kas 1. We went trekking, caving and a bit of swimming in Mt. Banahaw. Somehow I never expected that I’ll enjoy the caving part since I am not a fan of small spaces. But fyeah, I’ve made it! Not having any scratches! Cave Husgado is such a place to go for adventurers.
I really enjoyed my weekend although I think I’ve reached the extent of my adventure-ing capacity. My knees still feel like Jell-o but it’s all worth it. It felt like I had a lot of achievements. Bwahahaha!
no, i will not catch on. i don’t care how much you flirt with me, i can’t and won’t just assume that you like me. i literally need you to blatantly tell me you do, and even then i’ll question it
Things aren’t going my way these past days and it annoys me so much. What’s more annoying is that, I can’t keep myself focused and I’m affected by the little frustrating things happening. I feel so fucked up. I want to run away, as always. But of course everything will keep me on coming back to my reality. It sucks, really. It’s exams week and I can’t study well because I feel like I am on a roller coaster of emotions. Like I feel so tensed one moment and after a while, I just want to punch everyone in the face. Rude eh? Yeah. Even I, can’t understand what’s happening to me at the moment. Fucking mood swings.
But as always, I know– and I am hoping, that things will fall back into the right places.