His indirectness makes me bewildered.
This is the weirdest day so far. Weird, I didn’t feel sad at all. Probably because (1) I passed our exam with flying colors, (2) I was able to finish our machine exercise in Com Sci, (3) my last subject is not boring as I expected, (4) I finally got something as a birthday gift for mahself (single follies lol), and (5) I saw someone, unexpectedly.
Up to now I’m still grinning like an idiot.
It’s still the 4th of December right? My day went boring as usual except for the fact that it’s already Wednesday and I still haven’t used my phone. I remembered how frustrated am I last week when my phone’s power button gave up. It felt like I don’t want to sleep and just figure out how to fix it. But right now, I don’t even give a sht. Probably a sign that I am one of those who move on and change feelings fast.
After ages of searching, already found The Lovely Bones on one of the university’s thrift-ed book store. Tho I prefer the original cover but still happy! Also bought my first ever UP baller.
And we also had our first long exam in Math today. Thank goodness I was able to finish it. BUT I AM TOTALLY BROKE RIGHT NOW.
Already moved to our new room. And I feel so sick of all the things happening. I am tired of my emotions.
My most awaited month of the year already arrived and I feel so giddy right now. Tho I am currently experiencing unexpected conflicts, it still feels good that December’s finally here. Still looking forward for the upcoming events and of course, mah day.
Ngayon na lang ulit ako nag prntscrn ng nagfollow saken. WHY NOT? SI CHIEN YAN GUYS. Sobrang napapasaya ako ng posts niya pag-#emoheartsz ang peg ko o kaya punta lang ako ng soundcloud profile nya masaya na ako ulit.
Saka baka bawiin eh, dapat may pruweba. Charos. Salamat Chien. Good luck sa inyo ni Bi. Heart heart.
Hayley Williams goes Hardcore (Screamo in Here We Go Again Outro)
I never understood the concept
of setting your loved one free
Until I saw how much you wanted
to get away from me
I tried being unique before but it felt like all of us are just the same. I let go of that thought and chose the life I want to be. I am not still not sure who I am.
I kill people inside my head. Fcking swear a lot. Most of my clothes are in white and black. People always think that I listen to metal rock music but I prefer mellow songs. I enjoy metal & pop punk, can’t deny it. Sometimes I imagine myself as the girly type, even tried to dress like them, but it just doesn’t suit me. I like my stuff black. I know different ways to murder since I have read lots of mystery/thriller novels.
I watch cartoons like a retarded toddler. I read more fantasy novels than romantic ones. I like strawberry stuff. I fetish harajuku fashion. I want to collect cosmetics but never use them. I found Snow White very pretty. I like dolls. I like Hello Kitty and Minnie Mouse. I play Barbie up to now.
Some say I could draw well but I know I don’t. Am not saying this to be humble and shit, but because that’s the truth. I enjoy dancing, but am not really good at it. I can’t sing, seriously. They say I’m a smart ass bitch but the truth is am dumb as hell. I spend money on non-sense things. I’m not skinny but I like my curves, tho my legs suck.
I like reading books, coffee and pastries. I want to have an antique collection or just collect old things for their sentimental value. I read novels from the 70’s. I am into journals and memoirs. I’m a photography enthusiast.
I usually look into the capability of a thing to be useful than how people think it would be cool if you have it. I revive old things to be useful again. I hate unfinished business. I hate broken promises. I always make sure that I am responsible for every thing that I make/do. I like control, tho I always consider the opinion of others. I hate arguments so most of the time, I just let the others/majority decide.
I am a stubborn asshole. If I really want to do something, I’ll do it. I hate doing things that I really don’t/can’t do. A natural trash-talker, but most of the time I just keep my shits on my own. Professional bitch? Yeah I could be that.
I lose my temper so easily, it annoys me. I get mad when I don’t get what I want but manages it by sleeping. I am fucking sad most of the time. I use to cut myself but right now it sounds ridiculous. I don’t like to be hurt physically. I hate approaching people, but I talk a lot when you get to know me. A passive type of person, but I usually involve myself on things I am already attached with. It’s hard for me to express what I really feel.
I fall for someone easily, but always keep it to myself so I will not end up hurting myself. But if I’m really into someone,and he also feels the same way, I could be the sweetest, clingiest, touchiest person you’ve ever met. The effort-ful type probably, but only for my significant someone. I don’t get jealous easily. I could be understanding and patient as hell, just for him.
You see, I am a bundle of contradictions. I could be punk and kawaii at the same time. I could be the nostalgic type. Or the optimistic pessimist. The badass sweet girl. I don’t know. It’s hard as it sounds, but that’s who really I am. Ironies inside this 5 ft tall human.
May mga panahon talagang gusto ko na lang munang lamunin ng lupa pansamantala at maghybernate kung saan man ako makarating. Tulad ngayon.
Maraming nangyari at problemang inihain sa akin ngayon na hindi ko na alam kung ano bang uunahin ko o ano bang kaya kong masulusyonan. Parang ayaw ko na nga lang paniwalaan na nangyayari lahat ‘to. Na parang nananaginip lang ako at paggising ko okay na lahat. Pero hindi eh. Lahat ‘to nangyayari ngayon.
Sobrang lakas ng kutob kong malalagpasan namin lahat ‘to. Pero nakakalungkot lang isipin na kailangan pa naming umabot sa ganito. Minsan tinatanong ko na lang sarili ko, “bakit ngayon pa?”. Kung kelan kritikal ‘yung sitwasyon ko, namin sa bahay. Gusto ko na lang ipakita na matatag ako dahil alam kong ganon din ‘yung mga magulang ko. Nahihirapan akong mag-focus. Tipong pagnaiisip ko lahat e gusto ko na lang umiyak sa isang sulok hanggang sa mamatay ako.
Pero syempre, UP fight. Bawal sumuko.
Umaasa pa rin akong may espesyal na mangyayari pagtungtong ng Disyembre at magiging masaya pa rin ang pasko namin. Sobrang lakas pa rin ng faith ko kay Lord na kahit anong mangyari, nandyan lang siya nakaalalay. Sobrang lungkot ko ngayon pero alam kong matatapos din lahat to.
This too shall pass.
Second sem so far for me is… okay. I am expecting lots of requirements but I think it’ll be better when I indulge myself in sensible things than over-thinking nonsense stuff. Trying to talk more and involve on class discussions. T’was uncomfortable at first but I think I’ll just get used to it. Was also daring myself to do things out of my comfort zone. Pretty nervous about it, but also excited as hell.
Still giddy for my upcoming bee-dey and I really don’t have an idea why.
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